### What does this PR do?
Fix: https://github.com/oven-sh/bun/issues/21351
Relevant changes:
Fix advance to properly cleanup success and failed queries that could be
still be in the queue
Always ref before executing
Use stronger atomics for ref/deref and hasPendingActivity
Fallback when thisValue is freed/null/zero and check if vm is being
shutdown
The bug in --hot in `resolveRopeIfNeeded` Issue is not meant to be fixed
in this PR this is a fix for the postgres regression
Added assertions so this bug is easier to catch on CI
### How did you verify your code works?
Test added
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Co-authored-by: autofix-ci[bot] <114827586+autofix-ci[bot]@users.noreply.github.com>
